What have I become??

It's Friday afternoon, and I have resorted to watching a cheesy lifetime movie today. Ah yes. The beauties of a poorly acted, psycho guy kind of afternoon movie. Gotta love it. Reveling in the glorious thought that my life will never be as bad as the characters in this movie! Well, the marketing is clearly geared towards us stay at homies. I've seen my share of Sandals resort commercials for the day. Now if only they would run an ad telling me just how I can afford to go! Toots for now. Gotta get back to my afternoon intrigue.

I'm alive!!

Yes, yes, I'm alive and well! Why haven't I blogged lately you ask? Good question. I think I have been in a state of "crank" and haven't felt too witty. But, perhaps my wit is returning and there will be a resurgence of my sparkling self-conversation online. Teehee.

What a day....

Well, I should preface it with "what a day two weeks ago was". The day that Gabriella put her finger into the treadmill when I was on it. The day chunks came out of her left ring finger, and amidst my going in circles, freaking out, with a non-working phone and not knowing what to do, we went to the ER. To sum it all up, we had to go to the plastic surgeon this Monday, with fears that her finger might grow back bent, due to scar tissue healing. He concurred that this was a problem because he thought it looked like her skin was completely gone on her finger and would never return. So, with that, today was her day for surgery. He was scraping her finger clean of any dead cells and to check the status of the existence of skin, and putting a skin graft on it if necessary. She would be totally knocked out. So, as it turned out, all went as good as can be expected. Oh and of course, a graft was necessary. So, she is now bandanged like a cast up to her elbow, for weeks to come. Praying and hoping that this graft "takes" and we won't have to repeat it.

So you might wonder, in all of this, how have I felt? LIKE A HORRENDOUS MOTHER thank you very much. Because, in my mind, it's fairly, completely all my fault that she was wandering around the treadmill to begin with.

So moving on. Not only was today surgery day, but today was a special day for Antonio. Today is the day that we celebrate his joining our family forever, his Dia de Milagro (Day of the Miracle). Two years ago today, he was placed in our arms forever. We bought dinner from a local spanish restaurant, brought it home and watched video of our pick up trip and gave him one of his Guatemalan gifts. Two years. He looked so little in his video.

So again I say, "what a day". Today is a day of reflecting on lousy motherhood, of being a mother at all, of a son and of a growing family after years of struggling to have a family. Today I live life fully with two small children. Today, I celebrate motherhood; the good, the bad and the ugly.

In honor of this holiday

Many of you that are OLD ENOUGH remember the hair commercial that sang "I'm gonna wash that gray right out of my hair". And while I still do need to do that this week, in honor of TODAY, I am going to claim a different hair commercial. I am going to throw back my hair, say "Don't hate me because I am beautiful" and laugh in the direction of midlife crisis. Happy birthday to me!

This is the week.

Remember me blogging earlier about turning 35 and being a bit freaked out over it a bit? Well, it happens. Wednesday to be specific. But I will be accepting gifts all week.

Messy house mortification

So yesterday, friends of ours were dropping something off at our house immediately after church. Barry and I had come up with a plan on the way home from church to force them to stay and have lunch. This was a completely impromptu thing, which the practice of is a bit archaic I realize, but nonetheless, we thought it would be fun and are always up for guests in our home. Now, when we got home I remained in the kitchen the entire time, getting my kids fed, deciding what I might feed our potential guests from the barren refrigerator and looking out the window so we didn't miss them (they were possibly just going to "drop and run" since they were afraid of Barry and his reaction to another large object entering the house). So, when they came buy we cajoled, forced, bribed, and bound them with ropes to stay and have lunch. Brunch. Whatever. So anyway, I drummed up some waffles and omelets. It's true, I messed the waffles up a little bit and they were a bit chewy. And we were limited on syrup, so everyone had to "ration". So the omelets probably weren't the greatest either- Barry always makes fun of my brown eggs. But hey, we had friends over and were enjoying every minute of it. At that point, I hadn't even cared that they had to step over the 12 toys that the kids immediately got out as soon as we had gotten home from church. I can't help it that the toy room is in the middle of the house, right? So as I said, we were blissfully enjoying our guests.

Until.

Until I went upstairs to get something and saw what was spewing out of my bedroom. See, we had been away from the house literally since Friday afternoon. We spent Friday night overnight in Philly with the kids, Saturday afternoon at the Please Touch museum and then Saturday night, I went straight from the turnpike to a friends house and Barry to a guys night. I rolled in Saturday night at 11:30. I got undressed in a pitch black bedroom after tripping over the suitcase that was on the floor. My clothes lay in a heap, the suitcase lay next to it, and then Sunday morning with the rush to get to church, the zillions of pillows from the unmade bed lay on top of the suitcase...and the pile of night-before clothes. So, what was spewing out of the bedroom was a THREE FOOT HIGH pile of...well, crap. Pillows. Clothes. Suitcases. Mold. Who knows. And what can you see AS SOON AS YOU TURN TO GO TO THE BATHROOM????? That pile of crap. LOVELYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. And of course, they had all gone to the bathroom. There was no way they wouldn't have seen the creature lurking at the end of the hall.

So now, our dear friends, whom we enjoy thoroughly, think we are sloven nasty creatures and will never return. No matter how much rope we use to bind them.

Ah well. All in a day.

Ok smartie pants. YES, we had to pay them stay and have lunch with us. We are desperate for good friends. What can we say?

New "illness" in my children

It's called "Sudden Onset Early Morning Waking". I am not the least bit pleased about this new development. Not one bit.

From the A.I. junkie...

All I have to say is....Antonella? Is voting America on hallucinogens?

A word from the A.I. junkie...

Side note: I am so cool that I call American Idol, "A.I.", just so you catch on to my lingo. (Haha!)
So, here I am, anxiously awaiting the start of A.I. in an hour. Yes, its "kickoff" night- the first week of call in voting. The guys sang one night and the girls sang another night. And YES, ok? I DID try and call and vote, but I didn't get through. So, its going to have to happen without me. Anyway anyway, the girls were wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better than the guys this week. I thought it would be the opposite, but I'm not getting paid to be right, so whatever. The girls rocked the town. I would have voted for 8 of them, had I been able to get through. The guys- well, I hadn't tried to vote that night, but I would have voted for - well- just a few. So, here's the skinny on my thoughts.

Who needs to get the heck out of here:
Antonella. Bye bye. Never should have made it. Sorry babe, if you are reading my blog. You might be sweet, but your singing isn't up to par.
The dog walker, Leslie. Back to the doggies for you sweetie. I needed a sedative to watch you.

Who I love at the current moment, knowing of course that this could change:
Well, shoot. Many of the girls. Lakeisha "Everyone else should pack up and go home", Melinda "the quiet, shy, insecure master of vocals", Stephanie "the first up last night", Sabrina "the curly curly curly haired, yowsa singer", Gina "girl with the 'tude and piercings", Nicole "girl from Philadelpia with the strange song, but great singer", Jordin "the perky 17 year old" Blake "the beatboxer", Phil the "baldie that doesn't work as bald".

Who is leaving:
Antonella, Leslie, Rudy and Paul or AJ Tabaldo.

That's it for now!

(melodic 80's tune) "Should it stay or should it go now?"

Yes, I am referring to my hair color. Many, many of you have noticed that my hair is darker right now. Yes, and a bit curlier too. I am embracing my natural curl at the present time. I hear it's in style in Hollywood for '07, so if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for me. So, Linberger decided yet again NOT to hack off the hair, and embrace the length and (somewhat) curl. So indeed, my hair is darker than usual and curlier than usual. Today anyway. So here is the question I pose to the bloggers of the world reading this right now- those that care- and those that know what I am talking about.... Should it stay dark? The gray is popping through ever so nastily, so I am going to be coloring again shortly. Should it remain dark, or should it go back to a lighter brown, or hey, should I go some other color? When you live a life of a little over the top, your hair could be any color at any time. Embrace the gray, you say? Um, no. That's not my best color. So, I'll go with something else. Stay tuned. And vote if you please. Since I"m in the voting mood, what with American Idol going on and all. But that's another post. For later.

Exciting times of a SAHM

Exactly what am I hoping for when I go to the mailbox with excitement and anticipation every morning?

Child labor laws?

Do child labor laws count if they are your own children? Antonio, take care of the driveway, would ya? And Gabriella, take care of the steps. Thanks. I'll just be inside sipping my hot choccy.

Box of chocolates

It is said that "Life is like a box of chocolates". I propose that for mothers of young children, life is more like a box of hand grenades. All can be quiet and unassuming and you open the box and KABLAM! You don't even know what hits you.

Take this morning for instance. Yes, its only 8:48 and this can be said. If you are a mom, you know what I am talking about. You hear the cherub chitter chattering in the crib at 6:30am (is this REALLY my child chattering at this hour??!! Does she not know me??!!) Anyway, all seems well. You begin to open the box and go get her out of her crib and bring her into the bed with you. You have pulled the grenade out, but apparently the pin still remains intact. In comes your son after a few more minutes (really, do these kids know what they are doing to me at this hour??!! haha!) Evidently the pin gets loosened, because the grenade begins to percolate. Crabiness begins out of seemingly nowhere. The unhappiness continues until the pin is pulled out in the bathtub and KABLAM!!!!!! KABLAM!!!! KABLAM!!! What has just hit you? Your child is screaming and screaming and screaming and for evidently no apparent reason. The other grenade isn't even bothering her.

You look into the box of grenades and you see many others and fear for your life the rest of the day. Yes, life is like a box of grenades. Some of them are duds and never go off. But when you open that box, beware! You can't be sure which ones will blow and which ones won't. Life is like a box of grenades. You never know what you're gonna get.

Survived and even thrived!

I did it, I did it! I dropped off BOTH of my children this afternoon to be babysat- at my dad/stepmom's house. We have been making baby steps with Gabriella - taking her to nursery at church; left her home with a sitter last week and NOW, now the BIG one. Took her someplace to be watched AND put to bed at their house. And we all made it! We all survived and guess what?! Even thrived. I had a great time- and the children did fine too! (well, poor son was crying up in their bed, but hey, it can't all be perfect I guess!) Well hey, this mom is making progress! Pat on back, pat on back. :) Next step, an overnight. Ok, let's not push it.

And now a word from an American Idol junkie....

My comments on this week's auditions.....

Ok, tonight I was laughing so darned hard I was almost crying. Envision "panther boy". If you didn't see him, you missed the funniest audition I think I ever saw. And there was last night's "Kellie Pickler" wanna be. Ok, "my daddae, hae shoat hisself....." Yeah right. Oh my word and they let this wanne-be through to Hollywood! Further comments are: what was UPPPP with Paula last night?? She could not have been sober. She still looked a bit out of it tonight. And then there was the chick hitting on Simon, the "big bird" and oh I could go. But the old guy was sweet tonight- bless him. I did really enjoy one guy tonight- no clue on his name, but he was the back up singer guy. He might be the best I have heard on all the auditions so far. JMHO. Well, maybe my favorite was the "like a virgin" gal from last night, you know, the one who blamed the floor for her horrific singing.
Ah yes, I am a junkie to the core. And now that I have gotten my "fix", I can go to bed in peace.
Out. And perhaps my next blog will be more prolific.

Age is just a number.....right??

Pretty much I live my life still believing and acting like I am in my early 20's. In fact, I might even still think I am in my teens since I still LOVE teeny bopper movies, talk like an 80's throwback (awesome, cool, etc.) and generally say things that make me think- "do normal 30+ year olds talk like this?"

But next month I am turning 35. 35..... It's kind of freaking me out. I don't know- 35 just doesn't sound all that young. It's flying in the face of my beliefs that I am really just a kid. But 35? Eeewwwhhhh. So I am dealing with that.

But last night it got even worse. My dad was over for dinner. He has been married to my stepmother for just about 17 years. I was 18 years old when they got married- just about out of high school. At 18, your father doesn't have an age, or minimally, he is, of course, OLD.

Well, Don't I fall to the floor freaking out when I find out that he was MY AGE when he married her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What I would have perceived as old, was actually in fact, really really young..... RIGHT????!!!!! I don't know, I can't even explain the feelings I am having about it exactly. I just can't believe he was that young. Or maybe I can't believe that I am just that "old".

Whatever the case, ultimately, I truly do believe that age is a state of mind and of being. I don't have to get mentally old. I can keep on believin' that I am young, and it will keep me energetic, active, vibrant and well, yes, perhaps clueless. But so be it.

In the meantime, just let me freak out a little bit that I might not really be as young as I think.
This too shall pass.

Confessions of an American Idol junkie

I am now on my third season of American Idol. The first season I watched, I thought it was great but thought- shew, what a time committment. It's on all the time, etc. Next year, I won't watch it. So, last year came and all the way up until the season premier, I was saying "not this year. Too much". Season premier hit last year, where was I opening night? On my couch. Watching American Idol. All the way through the season. So, this year hits. What do you think I thought to myself? "I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL AMERICAN IDOL STARTS!!" No more fooling myself. I knew right from the get go that I was going to be glued to the tube. No more lying to myself. Evidently I am "vibrating at a much higher level now" and can look inside and be honest with myself. (haha!) So, here it is. I am a confessed American Idol junkie. I am addicted to the good old fashioned entertainment of it all. Even the lack of entertainment in the show is entertainment. Take the woman who sang like the lion from Wizard of Oz. Yes, something to aspire to. I need to practice. So, its on tonight....and tomorrow night....and practically every night of the week until May it seems. And you'll know where to find me. Whooping it up on my couch- right along with the "rest of America". Can't wait!

How to go from "loving mom" to "monster mom" in 20 days...

It's called PMS. (Sorry guys, this post is a bit "girly") What has happened to me? I used to be proud of my monthly sanity- I never had a problem with PMS. But- something has changed. Some kind of evil monster takes over my life once a month. It seems to have started since I became a mother- or maybe since I became 30, or maybe...who knows. It's just been sometime in the last few years. Sometimes I catch on that the monster has arrived and sometimes I don't realize until it becomes hindsight. Last week, I was a horrible mother. Especially on one particular day. So, I just went about my day, figuring- I was a horrible mother. A few days later, a little trigger made me realize.... "Oh brother, I was PMS'ing last week." How to go to "monster mom" in 20 days? Just ask my family. It takes no effort at all; it seems to come naturally and seems to strike with deadly venom. I dont' know, maybe I should just go on vacation once per month. Sounds good to me.

Just how????

Just how do you maintain sanity when parenting toddlers? I need this pertinent information. I am not doing so well some days..... some days I am going straight up nuts.....today and the last few days would be some of those days. And I am wondering- who is better going to survive this time? My children or me? Hm..... Oh no... I see the men in the white suits coming down the driveway....are they for me???

A little insight from a lunatic

It occurred to me this evening- I must be living in another mental world. Here's the deal. I am a behavioral perfectionist. I expect myself to be perfect, I expect those closest to me to be perfect. And now, I expect my two toddlers to be perfect. Wait a minute. Stop right there. What the heck am I saying? What am I doing? It's bad enough I expect this of myself. Then Barry, but a ONE YEAR OLD and a TWO YEAR OLD???!!! Yes, its true. This came to me when I was lamenting about the difficult day that I had today. You see, I expect a perfect day. And when its not, my whole day is tainted and sometimes even ruined. You might think- if I lowered my expectations just a TAD, I might have a happier kind of day. You might think that. It seems, in this particular lucid moment, that I am setting myself up for frustration- and certainly annoying those around me! In this lucid moment, there is just no way that any of us are perfect and I should just cut everyone a break. I mean really. There is only One that is perfect. And it aint me. In this lucid moment, I should wake up tomorrow- know that I am going to have frustrations a'plenty and deal with it. But tomorrow morning, lunatic Linberger will arrive and will expect my children to do everything perfectly, respond perfectly, and be perfect. I need help.

Life is made up of...

Life is made up of beautiful moments. Moments in time where you say "YES!". There are many of them, if you watch out for them. There might be a few days where you don't see them. There might be a day where you have a bunch. And you might start out the day with a beautiful moment, setting the pace and tone for the rest of the day- giving you hope that yes, you might actually have a good attitude today. These moments look different with each stage of life. The important part is, catching them whatever they might be. Like children that are smiling when you go in to get them. Like watching your son clutch himself and asking if he has to go potty and he says "yes." And you take him to the potty and he goes. Moments where you say "YES!" These are moments of pure joy. These are beautiful moments.
Look for your moment today.

Welcome to the life, times and thoughts of me

Well, its kinda fun blogging. And, it seems as though people enjoy reading blogs. So, here goes. A blog of life. A blog of humor. Definitely a blog of sarcasm. Most definitely a blog of American Idol commentary. A blog of motherhood. A blog of wifehood. A blog of life. My life, my thoughts, my mind. A little of this and a little of that. Your comments are welcome. My pictures better be welcome and most of all, my "just a little bit over the top life" will be blogged.

And you wonder- what- she has no life, so now she blogs? YES I have a life, thank you very much! BUT, I want to keep my wit about me amidst toddlers screaming, runny noses, diapers, discipline and playing on the floor. Keep my wit and keep sharp. Yep.

Why the name? My husband, Barry, calls me "over the top". Am I really over the top? Not really. But in his world I am. You see, we are completely, A100% opposites. There isn't too much between him and I that is the same, in the personality department. So, to him I am way, way over the top. And quite frankly, the name cracks me up. Why wouldn't I want to be called "over the top?" For a person who embraces life, loves fun and always wants to do a little bit more, its a great name. So, that's what the blog'll be. Embracing life, having fun, thinking just a little bit and posting about it.

So, tootles and enjoy.