What a day....

Well, I should preface it with "what a day two weeks ago was". The day that Gabriella put her finger into the treadmill when I was on it. The day chunks came out of her left ring finger, and amidst my going in circles, freaking out, with a non-working phone and not knowing what to do, we went to the ER. To sum it all up, we had to go to the plastic surgeon this Monday, with fears that her finger might grow back bent, due to scar tissue healing. He concurred that this was a problem because he thought it looked like her skin was completely gone on her finger and would never return. So, with that, today was her day for surgery. He was scraping her finger clean of any dead cells and to check the status of the existence of skin, and putting a skin graft on it if necessary. She would be totally knocked out. So, as it turned out, all went as good as can be expected. Oh and of course, a graft was necessary. So, she is now bandanged like a cast up to her elbow, for weeks to come. Praying and hoping that this graft "takes" and we won't have to repeat it.

So you might wonder, in all of this, how have I felt? LIKE A HORRENDOUS MOTHER thank you very much. Because, in my mind, it's fairly, completely all my fault that she was wandering around the treadmill to begin with.

So moving on. Not only was today surgery day, but today was a special day for Antonio. Today is the day that we celebrate his joining our family forever, his Dia de Milagro (Day of the Miracle). Two years ago today, he was placed in our arms forever. We bought dinner from a local spanish restaurant, brought it home and watched video of our pick up trip and gave him one of his Guatemalan gifts. Two years. He looked so little in his video.

So again I say, "what a day". Today is a day of reflecting on lousy motherhood, of being a mother at all, of a son and of a growing family after years of struggling to have a family. Today I live life fully with two small children. Today, I celebrate motherhood; the good, the bad and the ugly.